Dear Parents,
Your children are doing their very best trying to navigate socializing with their friends in this on-line environment. As parents, you are right by their side, doing an amazing job with trying to help them!
While listening and observing and based on our experiences over the past weeks we have come up with some ideas for socializing on-line. We have broken down these ideas into three areas "pre-socializing", "socializing", and "post-socializing". You can pick and choose what you think might work best with YOU and YOUR child. We hope you find this helpful!
Warmly,
Mrs. Gillian O'Connell Guidance Counselor Ms. Caroline Blasco School Psychology Intern
IDEAS FOR SUCCESSFUL SOCIALIZING ON-LINE
PRE-SOCIALIZING - Before your child gets online to connect with a friend, help them to "check in" with themselves to see if they have a "good" energy level to engage in the playdate. Socializing online takes more continued attention to details, patience for glitches, frozen screens, muting behavior, etc., so try to see if your child is in a positive frame of mind. Check to make sure they are not "fatigued" having just coming off of being online for a period of time for something else.
2) What is something fun you have done lately? 3) Have you played with or watched anything cool lately? 4) Have you made anything or cooked anything fun or tasty? 5) Your child can bring something on screen that means a lot to them, such as something they built with Legos, playdough, or a favorite stuffed animal, etc. 6) What is something you are looking forward to doing?
- Talk to your child about how many people is comfortable for them to be online with at a time, either for a chat or on video. This may vary for each child, and you as a parent, will need to take into account your child's ability to process things and their judgement socially. We are finding that socializing with 2 other children at the same time, allows each child to pick up on social cues best. As the numbers increase from there, things can become more challenging, with more misinterpretations, or fatigue on the child's part with trying to keep up accurately with all of the subtilties of socially interacting online. - It's healthy to support and encourage your child to try to communicate with at least one friend, if even once a week. If you child is not wanting to do that, try to explore the reasons why. It's important that socializing not take on a negative connotation for your child, or feel pressured, so please feel free to reach out to any of us, for individualized suggestions to help with this, should your child not want to be socializing during this time at home.
SOCIALIZING - Ideas for "play" on line include: show and tell with a favorite item from home, both children agreeing to do some form of art together online...drawing, painting, clay, etc., organizing a scavenger hunt for their families, using paper and pencil or purchasing a small white board for them to play words games on, guess what picture someone else is drawing, or play tic tac toe. - Make sure your child has their little note with ideas for conversation and words to use if they need to leave the conversation...or...make sure you have your signal set up between you, if they need assistance. - Remember...these are your friends from school! They are happy to see you too! Have fun and enjoy seeing their faces and hearing their voices!!
POST-SOCIALIZING - Check in with your child from time to time, including the older ones who may be doing this more independently, as to how has it been going online with their friends? How do you feel when you are doing it? Was there anything you are struggling with when you are socializing on line? - Find a time to compliment your child on their socializing on line. You could say something like "I'm so proud of you for reaching out to your friends. I think it's great you are keeping in touch with them while we are home like this!" - Be observant of your child's demeanor after their online socializing, and follow up with them if they seem stressed, fatigued or upset. - If the socializing is going well...wonderful! If the online time did not go well, talk with your child about ideas and suggest to them that it can go better the next time!
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